Worlds Cheapest Tip
September 1, 2002 - Arkansas, USA
An Arkansas primary school teacher has been declared the worlds cheapest tipper after ordering more than $250 worth of food and drinks for his wife and self and leaving a 5 rupee tip. Rupee, an Indian currency, is worth approximately 0.02 of an American dollar. When questioned the man replied, "I had just returned from a trip to India and I had mistaken the coins for more valuable American currency." Relaying this to the offended waitress she responded, "His excuse is weak, since when would you be cracking out foreign coins (that do not even resemble American money) as a tip for a $250 dollar dinner? There is no way with a bill like that you would use coins to tip at the customary 10%-15%, and even tipping at something like 3% would still need bills. His tip wasn't even a percent!"
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
All Da Same ( Jokes )
An airplane takes off from the airport. The Captain is Jewish and the
First Officer is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and
it's obvious, by the silence, that they don't get along. After thirty
minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters: "I don't like Chinese." The First
Officer replies: "Oooooh, no like Chinese? Why dat?" "Your people bombed
Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese." "Nooooo, noooo, Chinese
not bomb Peahl Hahbah. That Japanese, not Chinese." "Chinese, Japanese,
Vietnamese... it doesn't matter, you're all alike." Another thirty
minutes of silence. Finally, the First Officer says: "No like
Jew." "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?" "Jews sink Titanic." "The
Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg." "Iceberg, Goldberg,
Rosenberg, Spielberg; no mattah ... all da same."
First Officer is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and
it's obvious, by the silence, that they don't get along. After thirty
minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters: "I don't like Chinese." The First
Officer replies: "Oooooh, no like Chinese? Why dat?" "Your people bombed
Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese." "Nooooo, noooo, Chinese
not bomb Peahl Hahbah. That Japanese, not Chinese." "Chinese, Japanese,
Vietnamese... it doesn't matter, you're all alike." Another thirty
minutes of silence. Finally, the First Officer says: "No like
Jew." "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?" "Jews sink Titanic." "The
Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg." "Iceberg, Goldberg,
Rosenberg, Spielberg; no mattah ... all da same."
Photographer ( Jokes )
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to
arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be
here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning, madam. I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of
babies"
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is
fun too; you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me"
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"
"My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure"
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures.
"This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London"
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with"
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get
a good look"
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The
mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your,
um......equipment?"
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we
can get to work."
"Tripod?????"
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for
me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ....... Good Lord, she's
fainted!!"
father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to
arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be
here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning, madam. I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of
babies"
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is
fun too; you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me"
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"
"My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure"
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures.
"This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London"
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with"
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get
a good look"
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The
mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your,
um......equipment?"
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we
can get to work."
"Tripod?????"
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for
me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ....... Good Lord, she's
fainted!!"
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
35 Tanda-tanda Kecanduan Blog
Dari http://www.thegadgetnet.com
Warning: don’t try this at home! Hehehe…
1. Kalau bikin tato selalu dibubuhi icon kotak kecil warna oranye yang bertuliskan: RSS atau XML.
2. Kalau lagi nyetir dan hampir nabrak orang, langsung memencet tombol Edit Post.
3. Semua tetangganya dimasukkan ke aggregator.
4. Suka menasihati pemulung agar mempelajari SEO untuk meningkatkan kuantitas pencarian barang-barang bekas.
5. Anjing piaraannya dikasih nama-nama unik seperti WordPress, Blogspot, Multiply, Blog Drive
6. Sibuk mencari kucingnya yang hilang di Technorati…
7. Meminta tetangga-tetangganya agar membuat tag-lines dan menuliskannya di pintu masuk rumah.
8. Suka bikin spanduk dan memasangnya di depan rumah, yang isinya: “Ini Bukan Spam. Silahkan Baca Posting Terbaru Saya: http://domain.com/nama_posting”
9. Kalau lagi ujian Astronomi, begitu ditanya apakah nama Planet yang baru ditemukan, ia jawab: “Planet Terasi.”
10. Suka mengajak tukang ojek berdebat soal Web 2.0.
11. Ketika melihat poster-poster bagus atau pengumuman penting yang ditempel di dinding, dia langsung membubuhi tulisan pake spidol: Add to Digg or del.icio.us!
12. Sehabis difoto saat bikin paspor, langsung membisik petugas tukang potret: “Oom, jangan lupa fotonya di-share ke flickr ya!”
13. Punya baju yang bertuliskan “Technorati Rank: 230″
14. Pintu kamarnya dipasangi Google Adsense!
15. Ada Blogroll di pintu lemari di kamarnya…
16. Kalau diajakin ngobrol sama temannya, pasti nanya dulu: “Tagging-nya apa dulu nih? Curhat? Bisnis? Politik? Gebetan baru?”
17. Punya dua tokoh idola: Mat Solar dan Matt WordPress.
18. Sebagian perabotan di kamarnya dibubuhi “Creative Commons.”
19. Mimpinya muncul dalam format CSS!
20. Pasang poster Song Hye Gyo di dinding kamar, terus di bawahnya terpasang: [Via Hancinema.Net]
21. Suka cerita sesuatu ke temannya, terus langsung maksa-maksa “kasih comment dong! ‘Pertamax’ juga boleh!”
22. Portir di bandara yang barusan membantu dia mengangkat bagasi ke troli, minta: “Oom, mana tips-nya nih.” Dia langsung menjawab: “Tips apa? Tips ngeblog?”
23. Setiap minggu kamarnya berganti Themes…
24. Minta izin gak bisa masuk kerja via Twitter atau Kronologger.
25. Suka memilih motif baju kemeja yang ada Sidebar-nya.
26. Untuk menghemat ruang, beberapa perabotan di kamarnya didesain dalam bentuk widget.
27. Begitu masuk ke komunitas baru, langsung aktif menghampiri setiap orang sambil bilang “Add gue dong as a friend!”
28. Di dinding ruang tamu di rumahnya, terdapat hampir semua avatar teman-temannya.
29. Belanja di warung suka ngotot bayar pakai PayPal.
30. Suka nongkrong di alun-alun kota. Alasannya? Menurut dia, PageRank alun-alun pasti tinggi karena sering dikunjungi!
31. Suka iseng nambahin Papan Pengumuman di kantor kelurahan dengan “powered by WordPress”.
32. Suka blog-walking di blok-blok dekat rumahnya…
33. Setiap orang yang datang bertamu pasti disuruh login dulu.
34. Mendadak anonim kalo lagi ngutang….
35. Suka baca posting iseng ini sampai selesai…. :-)
Lagu anak-anak menyesatkan
Ada 7 Lagu anak-anak yang populer ternyata mengandung kesalahan, mengajarkan kerancuan, dan menurunkan motivasi.
Mari kita buktikan :
1. "Balonku ada 5... rupa-rupa warnanya...merah, kuning,kelabu..merah muda dan biru...meletus balon hijau, dorrrr!!!"
Perhatikan warna-warna kelima balon tsb., kenapa tiba2 muncul warna
hijau ?Jadi jumlah balon sebenarnya ada 6,bukan 5 !
2. "Bangun tidur ku terus mandi..tidak lupa menggosok gigi.. habis mandi ku tolong ibu.. membersihkan tempat tidurku.."
Perhatikan setelah habis mandi langsung membersihkan tempat tidur. Lagu ini membuat anak-anak tidak bisa terprogram secara baik dalam
menyelesaikan tugasnya dan selalu terburu-buru. Sehabis mandi seharusnya si anak pakai baju dulu dan tidak langsung membersihkan tempat tidur dalam kondisi basah dan telanjang!
3. "Aku seorang kapiten... mempunyai pedang panjang... kalo berjalan prok..prok..prok... aku seorang kapiten!"
Perhatikan di bait pertama dia cerita tentang pedangnya, tapi di bait kedua dia cerita tentang sepatunya (inkonsistensi). Harusnya dia tetap konsisten, misalnya jika ingin cerita tentang sepatunya seharusnya dia bernyanyi : "mempunyai sepatu baja (bukan pedang panjang)... kalo berjalan prok..prok..prok.." nah, itu baru klop! jika ingin cerita tentang pedangnya,harusnya dia bernyanyi : "mempunyai pedang panjang... kalo berjalan ndul..gondal..gandul.. atau srek..
srek.. srek.." itu baru sesuai dg kondisi pedang panjangnya!
4. "Naik-naik ke puncak gunung.. tinggi.. tinggi sekali.. kiri kanan kulihat saja.. banyak pohon cemara.. 2X"
Lagu ini dapat membuat anak kecil kehilangan konsentrasi, semangat dan motivasi! Pada awal lagu terkesan semangat akan mendaki gunung yang tinggi tetapi kemudian ternyata setelah melihat jalanan yg tajam mendaki lalu jadi bingung dan gak tau mau ngapain, bisanya cuma noleh ke kiri ke kanan aja, gak maju2!
5. "Naik kereta api tut..tut..tut..
siapa hendak turut ke Bandung.. Sby..
bolehlah naik dengan naik percuma..
ayo kawanku lekas naik.. keretaku tak
berhenti lama"
Nah, yg begini ini yg parah!
mengajarkan anak-anak kalo sudah
dewasa maunya gratis melulu.
Pantesan PJKA rugi terus!
terutama jalur Jakarta-Bandung dan
Jakarta-Surabaya!
6. "Di pucuk pohon cempaka.. burung
kutilang berbunyi..
bersiul2 sepanjang hari dg tak jemu2..
mengangguk2 sambil bernyanyi tri li
li..li..li..li..li.."
Ini juga menyesatkan dan tidak
mengajarkan kepada anak2 akan realita
yg sebenarnya.
Burung kutilang itu kalo nyanyi
bunyinya cuit..cuit..cuit..!
kalo tri li li li li itu bunyi kalo
yang nyanyi orang, bukan burung!
7. "Pok ame ame.. belalang kupu2..
siang makan nasi, kalo malam minum
susu.."
Ini jelas lagu dewasa dan untuk
konsumsi anak2!
karena yg disebutkan di atas itu
adalah kegiatan orang dewasa, bukan
anak kecil.
Kalo anak kecil, karena belom boleh
maem nasi, jadi gak pagi gak malem ya
minum susu!
Yg ngaak bener jgn ditiru ya
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